Penance of the Mother
by The Goddess of Percabeth
Summary: Artemis Crock's life came to a screeching halt when she found out she was pregnant. But this is not about that. This is about what came after. Spitfire (but not romance). Rated M for difficult subject matter.


_a/n: writing for young justice feels like returning to my roots in fandom. It wasn't my first, but it was definitely one of my strongest loves during a really difficult time in my life. It only feels right to revisit it, since yj is coming back soon! I haven't written anything for young justice (specifically spitfire) that i didn't start to write during 8th grade (lol yikes) but if you like this and you're interested in reading some more of my yj fanfic, it's still up on my profile. My favorite of the few is amor fati, but a lot of people seem to like no, really, as well._

 _A warning: this story is not a happy one. It will deal with teen pregnancy, loss, grief, depression, suicide, and a realistic depiction of characters beyond their canon personalities and traits in a way that makes them flawed and human, but ultimately not bad people. Specifically artemis struggles a lot in this fanfiction, so be warned. A lot of her thoughts reflect her damaged mental state, and not the views of the author._

 **October 9th, 2011. 1:09 EST. Gotham Harbor.**

The mission was simple; they were dealing with regular criminals, not the sort of chemically enhanced super villains that the League (both young and old) mainly dealt with. Supposedly a major drugs shipment arrived, and the Team was to secure the shipment for the authorities before the buyers could retrieve it.

Unfortunately, a mission this easy required a _lot_ of sitting around- waiting up on rooftops for Maroni and his men to show. Decidedly a less glamorous aspect of the crime-fighting gig, stakeouts bored most of the team to death. Especially Wally, who couldn't sit still for ten minutes, and Artemis, who wasn't feeling particularly well.

After about an hour sitting in position, Zatanna alerted the team via mind link, _I see three guys rounding the southwest corner of the building._

 _Finally_ , Wally added. Zatanna snickered, and M'Gann giggled in agreement.

 _Alright, team,_ Kuldur asserted. _On three, we intervene as planned. Make sure that no one is seriously injured, as authorities requested an audience with the criminals. Artemis, you're up first._

 _Got it,_ Artemis said. Kaldur nodded, and she nodded back that she was ready.

 _One… Two… Three!_

Artemis readied herself to stand up on the rooftop with Kaldur. Her job, as per the plan, was to create a diversion so that Kid and Miss Martian could apprehend the criminals before they knew what happened. After that, Superboy and Zatanna were in charge of taking care of the shipment.

Pulling a smoke arrow out of her quiver, she began to stand. Only, when she did, she became extremely dizzy. Her vision went black for a few seconds, and she struggled to find balance. This meant that the arrow was not fired, and Wally and M'Gann- who already moved into position- had no cover when they went in to arrest the criminals.

Artemis felt her teammates' confusion at her lack of action through the link. But the damage was already done; the men noticed M'Gann and Wally and drew their guns to shoot.

 _Artemis, what happened? You_ said _that you were ready,_ Kaldur admonished as he motioned Artemis down to the ground in order to help with the fight.

 _Sorry, guys,_ Artemis apologized. _Haven't been feeling well lately. If I shot that arrow, it wouldn't have hit._

 _Then you shouldn't have volunteered for this mission,_ Conner said, his voice tinged with annoyance.

Her cheeks flooded with color, embarrassed. _I said I was sorry, geez._

No one else responded. Seemingly drawn by the gunfire, cars rearing more bad guys with guns pulled into the lot.

 _No time to argue,_ Kaldur instructed. _Miss Martian, Zatanna- you try to contain the shipment. The rest of you: we now have more subjects to apprehend. This doesn't change our mission objectives at all. Now move._

Artemis pulled out a stun arrow and ran towards a group of baddies when Kaldur added, _Except for you Artemis- since you aren't giving your best performance tonight, I think it's best that you sit this one out._

If she wasn't embarrassed before, Artemis was now. Huffing, she fired her shot and retreated, letting Superboy take her place. He shot her a dirty look as they ran past each other that she returned.

Sitting on the bioship until the mission ended was its own kind of hell, and it definitely didn't help that Artemis felt worse than before. And she knew that Kaldur meant well, but it still stung- especially Conner's comment. She volunteered for the mission because she hadn't been on one in a while, and thought that maybe exercise or fresh air could help.

Clearly that was not the case. Her head pounded in nauseating waves, and her whole body ached. Obviously, her period was coming, a particularly bad one at that.

Which made sense, judging by how late it was. Well, the word _late_ implied regularity, which wasn't the case for Artemis. As an abnormally active girl, her period was often late and light when it did come. Her and her girl friends had a joke- the lighter her period was, the more of a bitch it was.

Regardless of how much of a motherfucker her period would be, or how embarrassed she felt about being asked to sit a mission out, Artemis wasn't one to turn down an opportunity to sleep. So she rested her head on the back of her seat and closed her eyes.

At some point, the team got back to the ship and flew back to the Mountain. There, Batman waited for a mission briefing.

"Good job, team," he said, once Kaldur finished their private debriefing. "I hear from Aqualad that almost everything went smoothly. Except in the beginning, that is."

Artemis felt his piercing stare through the cowl, and looked down at her feet.

"Artemis, you didn't act in time, and as a result, your team suffered."

She sighed. "Yeah, I know."

"I understand that you weren't feeling well, but- and this goes for everyone on the team- it is _your_ job to sit out on missions that you're not sure you can finish to the _best of your abilities._ The Artemis out there today- making rookie mistakes- was not the one I let onto the team."

A compliment hid in his words somewhere, but Artemis chose to focus on the absolute mortification she felt. "Sorry," she whispered, her eyes feeling suspiciously damp.

As if he didn't hear her, Batman moved on to other matters.

After the debriefing, all Artemis wanted to do was go home and sleep. However, Zatanna caught her right before she could.

Pulling her aside into a storage room rarely used, Zatanna asked in a hushed voice, "Hey, girl, how you feeling?"

Artemis sighed. "I don't know, I've just felt kinda… off, recently. I keep getting these headaches, and I've been nauseous off and on for a few weeks."

"You were dizzy tonight," Zatanna observed.

"That, too." Artemis shrugged. "Probably nothing, though. Don't worry about it."

Zatanna didn't seem convinced. Pursing her lips, she started slowly, "Artemis, you don't think that you could be _pregnant_ , do you?"

That hit Artemis with an icy shock that ran straight through her toes. "What are you talking about? Are you crazy?"

Defensive, Zatanna put her hands up. "Hey, I'm sorry. I had to ask."

Instantly, Artemis felt bad about snapping at her friend. "No, it's okay. I appreciate the… concern, I guess." She tucked a piece a piece of hair behind her ear and looked at Zatanna, curious. "Do you really think that it could-"

"You never know," Zatanna said wisely. "Taking a test couldn't hurt. I know that you and Wally have-" She cleared her throat. "You know."

Running a hand over her face, Artemis nodded. "I gotta go home, Zee." She walked out the door, Zatanna in tow. "I'll go home, and think about it, okay?"

Zatanna nodded. "Tell me what you decide to do." She hugged Artemis tightly. "See you later, girl."

Standing in the zeta tube, Artemis waved goodbye as the computer said: " _Artemis. B-07."_ And she disappeared in a flash of light.

 **October 10th, 2011. 18:33 EST. Chicken Whizees of North Gotham.**

Artemis usually didn't look forward to her shift at Chicken Whizees, a fast-food joint, but it helped pay the bills and most of her paycheck went into savings, anyway. However, today Artemis just wanted to focus on something. She knew that Zatanna was just being overly cautious, and she probably wasn't pregnant, but the thought had buried itself under her skin.

Her and Wally, in times past, weren't too careful when having sex. Only a few times, really- not frequently enough to stick out.

With this weighing heavily on her mind, Artemis went to work. Most of the time she manned the cash register, but when things were particularly slow- and she worked the graveyard shift, so fairly often- her manager Tom asked her to do maintenance things like mopping the floor or replacing toilet paper, tissues, etc.

Tonight was no different. After about her third hour working, Tom requested that she mop the Women's Room. As she headed back through the kitchen to reach the mop closet, she passed the rarely-used salad station. And oh Lord, it smelled _bad._ She ran as fast as she could to the very bathroom she was supposed to clean, barely making it to the toilet before breakfast, lunch, and dinner resurfaced.

Gingerly, Tom asked her if she needed to go home.

"My shift isn't over yet," she objected.

Tom smiled kindly. He was an older gentleman who took his job seriously and cared about his employees. "You've worked so much overtime recently, Artemis. Your paycheck will be big enough. Go home, and rest. Your job can wait until you're feeling better."

For the second time in two days, Artemis left begrudgingly because of this stupid illness. She seriously hoped she wasn't pregnant; she couldn't take nine months of this.

She sat at the bus stop a few blocks away from the joint and pulled out her phone. Sighing, she dialled Zatanna's number and waited for her friend to pick up.

Zatanna finally picked up. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me," Artemis said. "I think you might be right. I'm going to pick up a test tonight."

Her friend inhaled sharply. "Holy shit," she cursed, "This is big."

"No kidding," Artemis deadpanned.

"Are you going to tell Wally?"

Artemis pondered this, then replied, "Only if it's positive, but I haven't let myself think that far."

"Right," said Zatanna. "Tell me as soon as you take it, alright? I hope for your sake that it's negative."

"Me too, Zee. Look, I'll see you tomorrow at the Mountain, okay?"

"Sure." She paused, and Artemis thought that she had hung up. Then, Zatanna added, "Hang in there, alright? I'll be there for you no matter what."

"Thanks, Zatanna. I'll keep that in mind."

She hung up and buried her head in her hands before any passerby could see her cry.

 **October 10th, 2011. 21:14 EST. Brown's Family Apothecary, North Side of Gotham.**

Artemis got off the bus one stop too early, a block away from a late-night pharmacy. She walked the block in record timing, all the while reassuring herself that the sooner she got the test, the sooner she could know that nothing was wrong.

The door jingled when she opened it. A bored-looking teenager sat at the front register, absentmindedly flipping through a magazine. He barely looked up at Artemus when she walked in and headed towards the back.

And so, at 9:47 at night, Artemis Crock found herself in a position she never dreamed she'd be in- sixteen, and deciding which pregnancy test she would use. The thing that surprised her the most was how much they cost. In the movies and TV shows, the teen would frequently buy about five tests- "just to make sure." Well, Artemis barely had enough cash on her to pay for one, let alone five. She picked the most reliable-looking one in her price range, and brought it up to the register.

The bored teen rang up the test like he would, say, Cheetos or cough syrup. "That's twenty-one-oh-five," he stated, monotone and rehearsed like he couldn't care less.

Face red, Artemis nodded and handed him the cash.

"Thanks," she said as he gave back her change.

As she walked out into the chilly, dark night, the teen added, "Hey! Good luck."

She looked back, smiled ruefully, then closed the door.

 **October 11th, 2011. 15:21 EST. Crock Residence, North Side of Gotham.**

The next day after school, Artemis decided that it was time. No use in putting it off any longer. She would take the test now.

She grabbed the test from where she'd hid it the night before, and walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Her mom was at work, but one could never be too careful. She never knew when Jade, Wally, or- god forbid- her dad would stop in for a surprise visit.

She thought about what Zatanna said- telling Wally. Picking up her phone, she dialled his number. It started to ring, but before he could pick up, she ended the call. Her head spun with the feeling of denial.

Her phone started ringing. The caller ID said _Sonic the Speedster._ Wally. He'd put his own name in, over a year ago when she first joined the team.

Gulping, she answered. "Hey, babe. What's up?"

"You called," he replied.

Artemis frowned. She wasn't big on the ideas of fate and destiny, but she did believe in signs and that things that looked like coincidences usually weren't. The Powers That Be could be telling her that this was her second chance to tell him.

Taking a breath, she started, "Wally, I-" she let out her breath, and her confidence went with it. She imagined him sitting on his Flash-themed sheets, eating Corn-Nuts like an eight year old. "Butt dial," she lied. "Sorry."

Wally laughed. "Don't worry about it, babe. We still on for tonight?"

"Of course," she answered.

Tonight, she would have already taken the test. She would know if the rest of her life was ruined or not, and the weight on her shoulders would be either ten times lighter or ten times heavier.

"Great," Wally said. "See you tonight."

She could tell him later, if there even was any thing to tell.

Artemis hung up.

Back to deliberation.

"Well, Artemis," she said aloud. "You could start by opening the damn package."

She pulled the package out from the pharmacy bag and took the test out, along with a small book of instructions. Deciding that this was not a time for haphazardness, she read every word of the manual. The instructions for use were very simple; just pee on the stick and wait three minutes. She'd figured as much.

The most interesting bit of information hidden in the booklet was this: _Be aware that false positives are very rare. False negatives are largely more common. Although you should consult a doctor no matter what the results, this test is regarded as highly accurate._

"Here goes nothing," Artemis quietly said to herself. She peed on the stick, and waited. Around the two and a half minute mark, her breathing became shallow and rapid. Pacing the small bathroom as best she could, she told herself that freaking out wouldn't change the results. This thought, while true, did nothing to help.

After what felt like an eternity, the timer on her phone buzzed, startling her out of the deep recesses of her brain.

Taking her first deep breath in far too long, she picked up the test and looked at the results.

Positive.

 _Fuck._

 **October 11, 2011. 15:40 EST. Crock Residence, North Side of Gotham**

Paula Crock had come home an hour ago, but Artemis hadn't gone out to greet her like she normally would. Instead, she sat curled in the corner of Jade's old bed, as if she was hidden under the lingering aura of her older sister.

Paula wheeled around in the kitchen, pulling various dishes from cabinets and sinks. She probably needed help, but Artemis was too- scared? Ashamed?- to do so. Or move, even.

She pulled her phone out and called Zatanna, remembering her promise.

Her friend answered after the first ring. "Did you take it yet?" She opened. "The test, I mean. But you knew that, obviously, God. So did you?"

Artemis sighed. "Yeah, I did. Couple hours ago."

"And?"

Artemis could tell she waited at the edge of her seat for her answer.

Clearing her throat, Artemis took a breath and said, "Negative. It was negative."

The lie felt cheap on her lips.

Zatanna sighed in relief. "Oh, thank God! You don't know how _worried_ I was."

"You have no idea."

 _fin~ (for now)_

 _a/n: thank you all for reading! If you have any thoughts, questions, or suggestions, please do not hesitate to leave a comment. Let me know about any errors or inconsistencies! I try to respond to every review that I receive, no exceptions. Hope you all have a great day._


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